What does the term Men’s Issues mean?
Most men spend their adult lives pursuing financial success and professional status. Culture programs us to do that. Our genes probably do too. Thus, it comes as a surprise to many men who, after years of hard work, achieve their professional and financial goals but discover that this does not produce the happiness and contentment they had always expected. One reason men can wind up successful but unhappy is the well-established fact that men, in contrast to most women, allow their social networks to atrophy. Perhaps it is our focus on professional success that causes us to neglect friendships. Whatever the cause, eventually, many men find themselves with no one to call or hang out with.
Research has shown that most men have lots of friends during college, but 25 years later, many have come to rely almost exclusively on their spouse and children for social connection. If you find yourself in this position, you lack the sort of relationships that once provided you with opportunities for fun and fulfillment. Excessive reliance on your spouse can also lead to marital problems. Many additional factors contribute to men’s unhappiness, including fundamental misconceptions about what makes human beings happy.
Over time, a shortage of good friends and accompanying feelings of isolation and unhappiness can lead to serious trouble. Some men turn inward and become depressed and withdrawn, not understanding why they are unhappy and not knowing what they can do to make themselves feel better. Other men attempt to assuage their dissatisfaction by taking action, but their behaviors only make matters worse – e.g., excessive use of alcohol or other substances, sex (pornography, affairs, escorts), or compulsive preoccupation with otherwise healthy activities (golf, triathlons, etc.). All of the causes and consequences of men’s unhappiness are men’s issues.
I help men alter or discontinue problem behaviors, identify the sources of their unhappiness, and take actions that are more likely to lead to fulfillment.